There are some of us that are conformists, trying as best as we can to fit in and jumping on every trend. Then there are who are the rebels, who want nothing to do with whats considered “mainstream”
I’m one of the non-conformists. To an extreme.
The last thing I wanted to be was one of the “cool”
In junior high and high school, I was a bit of an outlier. I wore sweat pants every day while all the other kids wore jeans. It’s not that I didn’t like jeans, but I simply didn’t want to do what everyone else was doing. The other day I was describing my high school experience to a friend and I said “Its not like I was an outcast for lack of trying, it was that the last thing I wanted to be was one of the cool kids”
This has carried into my personality years later where when I’m doing activities, or choosing places to go, I pick the ones that are the least “popular”. And in many cases I take this to an extreme. For example I came up with a plan this summer to do a 350km bike trip that involved paddling in the middle of it by putting my bike on top of a packraft. Of course this was pretty complex and daunting for many reasons and it never really got done. I think maybe if I had aimed a bit lower, I would have done it in separate parts which is better than zero parts
This carries over to who I choose to associate with too. I find myself being much more particular with who spend time with. And while at a basic level, tis ins’t a bad thing, I might take it too far. For example if I have a running friend but they don’t share the same values as me on recycling or the environment, I might feel myself not wanting to hang out with them as much. Or if they aren’t as adventurous and want to turn around just as we reach the summit because they have to head to Home Depot later, I might find myself getting annoyed with them and less likely to want to hang out with them in the future.
So I’ve kind of found myself in this spot where I don’t have a huge group of people that I do adventures with. I think I’ve only recently discovered that it’s because I’m maybe overly critical of inconsequential things. And looking for this perfect adventure buddy with the same “weird and different” matching worldviews and value and traits as me.
People meeting these “exact specifications” are either rare or don’t exists and I think its affects me more than I previously admitted to. While I like my solo adventures, I enjoy sharing time outdoors with others that enjoy it just as much as I do, so I think there is a bit of a gap here. So maybe that isn’t an issue with me finding the “exact” right people, but perhaps being a little more open to people being different and unique in other ways.